The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
