all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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