i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
