If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
