Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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