I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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