I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
