He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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