sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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