Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
