somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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