I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
