Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
ok first of all what the fuck
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
