so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
