some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
