absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
