You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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