Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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