Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
