i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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