Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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