Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
