is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
