shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
