So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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