Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
