I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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