Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
