if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
