I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
