i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
