I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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