dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
