Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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