I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
