Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
