We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you win again, gameday.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
