theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Sext me about skeletons
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
