that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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