I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
