I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
