i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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