I want to stick my p in your. b.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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