and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
