I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
