No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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