It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
