True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
