I cut my penus on the lid.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
