all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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