I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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