then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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