the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
